Idiots in Boulder.

A lady sitting at a bar with her husband/boyfriend started talking to me the other day and she asked me where I was from. I tell her I am from Brooklyn and she proceeds to talk shit about people from New York and the East Coast in general. Being from the East Coast and Brooklyn I am use to shit talkers and haters and have a general understanding- maybe even appreciation for such people. I ask her where she and her husband/boyfriend are from. They tell they are "true Boulderites- born and raised and continue to live". I ask them if they've ever been to NY. They say no...OK. I can let that slide. Maybe they met a fair amount of people from NY/East Coast to be making their assessment. Well, my interest or interest in being courteous wore off and I turned my back to them and proceeded to drink my very tasty non-microbrew, Stella Artois and stared at the door waiting for my friend to arrive. The lady once again grabbed my attention and asked me where I was from. I thought maybe she is a few local microbrews deep and forgot what I told her, so I say Brooklyn once again. She then says, "No, where are you from BEFORE that?" I looked kind of puzzled and paused a moment. I thought maybe she wanted a full history of my birth and origin, so I tell her, "Well, I was born in Queens in a neighborhood called Jackson Heights, moved all over the country, but lived most of my life in Brooklyn." She then interrupts and says, "No, where were you from before NY?" Ahhhhh. Now I get it. Apparently the observant person that she is and a outstanding true member of "Forbe's Magazine's Smartest City" she noticed that I am not white and assumed that my mere birth and residing in the City of New York or the United States didn't qualify me as being "from here".

Why Boulder, CO sucks.

1. Self righteous privileged white people acting as if the rest of America is terrible. It's great how they talk about being so environmentally conscious yet I see more SUVs here than Hybrids. In fact I saw more people driving Hybrids in LA than I do here in Boulder. They brag about walking to work, but of course they live in downtown Boulder where 2 bedroom houses cost $2 million dollars and it's only 3 blocks away from their office. Or they bike to work in their $5000 fixed gear bike while sneering at the Mexicans who have to drive a 1978 Chevy truck to landscape their $2 million dollar home.
And having a million bumperstickers on your SUV or Subaru telling people how righteous you are doesn't make it necessarily so. It just makes you look like a pretentious asshole.

2. Ignorant people who don't know the difference between Japan, Korea, and China or Cuba, Brazil, and Spain. Someone needs to tell them that they speak different languages, have different foods, and different cultures. Yet they brag about being named Forbes Magazine's "Smartest" City.

3. Unfounded sense of accomplishment. If you read the Boulder Weekly's "Best of..." it seems like NY, Chicago, and SF must be following the heels of Boulder's food and shopping culture. CO's microbrews suck. They don't taste good and are shitty quality. People in Boulder act like the gods should only drink this piss. Having 10 good restaurants here doesn't make it a mecca for foodies nor does it make a person living in Boulder a "foodie". All of the clothing stores in Boulder are from major chains or corporations. They name these stores the "Best of..." Way to keep things local, Boulderites.

4. People in Boulder want to think they are unique so they make shit up like being "gluten intolerant". You think people in Somalia are allergic to wheat, the most basic food since the dawn of man? And if a person is gluten intolerant why in the fuck is it the restaurants responsibility to change the entire menu for that person's needy ass? They should just stay in their $2 million home and cook their organic tofu that they bought at Whole Foods for $10 a 1/4 lbs.
I am from NY. The population of NY is 8 million. On any given day there may be as many as 20 million people in the City of New York if you include the tourists, commuters from NJ, CT, PA, and upstate NY, illegal immigrants, students, residents with permanent addresses elsewhere, etc. I never ever met anyone gluten intolerant my entire life there.
In Boulder there are 100,000 people- 130,000 if you count the student body at Colorado University. I meet someone gluten intolerant EVERY single day.

KENYONB Kill At Will

New tees available at Upper Playground. And just in time to celebrate the Fourth of July with this beauty by yours truly. Ice Cube meets Uncle Sam. Wear it at the BBQ and get in a heated debate about gun control with your friends and family. Beer can make it more exciting.

Prpl Nrpl 50% Off Sale

Oktoberfest

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been busy living. Got back from Germany for Oktoberfest last month. I'll post more pics and highlights when I have time off from drinking, planning trips to Europe, and snowboarding.



Me at my worst.


My girlfriend, Tina, doing her best imitation of a St. Pauli Girl. The old man in the back didn't seem too impressed.

Let's Talk

Matthew Newtown interviews me for his Let's Talk series on Computerlove. Don't worry, there's pictures too. Read here.

KENYONB & Upper Playground

Fifty24sf Gallery releases the Dumb Dumb graphic on a t-shirt.


Dubya with the Great Gazoo from The Flintstones. In case you don't remember, he used to call Fred and Barney dumb dumbs. And even if you don't remember, it still makes sense, doesn't it?


Get it before before he gets out of office!
Available at the Upper Playground shop.

50% off at KENYONB.COM

It's the end of summer. Sad.

Everything is half off. Happy.

go $hop

Skateboards

All Future Relic graphics now available on wood via Artsprojekt:

…an interactive and culturally relevant online community for the arts, pop culture and action sports announced its launch today. ARTSPROJEKT will feature original art, illustrations, and designs by artists, celebrities, action sports stars and micro brands, as well as offer artist profiles, portfolios, online product galleries, collaborations, artist interviews, and more.

Founded by artist and former pro-skater Andy Howell, you know the quality is top notch.

Finally the rest of my roadtrip.

Sorry. It's been a while. New York tends to keep people too busy. Here's the rest of the posting of my trip from LA to NY:


First stop after leaving Colorado is Kansas. (For those of you who aren't geography savvy). There is absolutely nothing in Kansas:
As you can see.
And some random ass church in the middle of nowhere.
Dwight D. Eisenhower's childhood home. I told you there wasn't much to see.
Met up with my old friend from New York who lives in Kansas City now, Bryant. He took me to the best Kansas City bbq place, Gates.
My platter.
Bryant's platter.
And yes we took this picture.
We cleaned up after dinner at Gates and went for some drinks in KC.
Bryant tends to attract the ladies. I attract fruit flies.
The next morning we went to Waffle House with a massive hang over.
Bryant bought one of my Future Relic shirts back in the day. He still rocks it to this day.

My spread. Delicious.

OK. I'm tired of uploading pics, so I'll continue this later. I promise it won't take me 2 months to do it either...Hopefully.